Boarding Schools

The other day, I was reading an article on newyorker.com titled Whipping Boy, a story about writer who spent forty years looking for his bully. The biggest question here is why? I remember how different it was for me, we had the cool kids, the bullies and well, the christians and each of us had our own clicks. I was okay with that I think.

Like many girls in Kenya, I spent most of my life in boarding school. If I remember correctly, my dad dropped me at Sango Academy when I was in standard four and I was so afraid and crying and questioning why my parents would do such a thing. And that's where I spent the next 4 years calling it my home. And when I joined high school, I also spent another 4 years with another group of girls. I still don't understand why my parents decided to send me to boarding school at such a young age! What can I say, that's how they were taught and they believed and still believe it is the best form of education.

I have to thank my parents because being in boarding school for over 8 years has taught me the value of being independent. Over the last couple of years, I have managed to be the woman that I am just because of the things I learnt while in boarding school. I learnt how to get along with others because it was a community and I learned how to be responsible for my actions because I was bound by an honor and discipline code. And I hated waking up at 4.00 am. 

Boarding school has helped take on challenges to live in new places over the last couple of years. It laid a solid foundation for me to be okay being on my own and thriving in a new environment. For the last 10 years, I have lived in new countries and new environments and through them, I have managed to make friends, be okay and be well.

And yes, they do say there are many benefits of taking your children to boarding school. Sports, good education, environment and better future. They also say boarding schools make children physically, mentally and spiritually fit. 

Am still in my early 30s, not married and no kids yet, so I don't have to worry about the decision of taking my kids to a boarding school. And for those who spent their earlier lives in boarding school or thinking of sending their children to boarding school, I would love to hear from you!

Cheers,

Neema

Visa To Being a Naturalista

Confession time, I never did the big chop!

My natural hair journey started in 2011 when I stayed in Italy for 3 months as a study abroad student in the region Tuscany – Siena to be specific. As an African woman, I needed someone to do my hair with no luck. My precious edges were also crying out! I still don’t have them but they are growing thanks to several prayers and fasting! And its through these two misfortunes that my natural hair journey started. 

Boy was I so wrong.  You know that feeling of imperfection and not good enough and you have doubt with yourself because of your hair? Well that was me back in 2011 and 2012.  It has been a long journey and over the last 4 years, I have learned to have a love/hate relationship with my hair.

As a Kenyan, some of us, me to be exact, I don’t have the luxury of hair that looks like the girls on YouTube or some of the naturalistas out there.  I have tried to do braids out with so many epic failures  that in the morning when I wake up, I look for my fedora and get to work – that’s why you thank companies in Silicon Valley where no one cares how you show up at work.  Now, I don’t even bother anymore. My go to style is wash and go. I wash my hair every Sunday morning with my favorite product and let it air dry or if I don’t have time, I just use heat to dry it.  And I don’t have to wash it for the next one week. It holds strong and I only use essentials oils (Jamaican, Lavender, Jojoba) to maintain it.

Over the last years, my hair and I have had our own shares of problems but through it all, we have seen each other grow and learn to accept our flaws. For example,  I know I can’t do a braid out so I never try it. The only thing I can achieve with the help of my hair dresses is twists outs. I tried those on my own and it never worked. Sometimes when I travel or am on vacation, I try to do crochet braids.

I haven’t braided my hair over the last 4 years and it has been a good feeling. I have learned to accept me with my short hair and at work, people have known me as a naturalista. And it works for me.  If  you want to transition into the natural  hair journey,  here are all the things you will need to get that visa: 

1. Commit
2. Don't be afraid of shrinkage - it all happens to us
3. The infamous 'Big Chop' vs. 'Grow Out' - Pick your poison
4. Try several products until you find what works for your hair
5. Protective styles - cornrows/braids/twists and my favorite - crochet braids
6. Avoid braids and styles that interfere with your hairline 

Whatever route you choose, big chop or grow out, there are several websites/blogs/YouTube videos and products that will help you as you transition through your hair journey. You will learn about what works for your hair and what not to. Just remember everyone's hair is different and as India Arie says" I am not my hair".

I would love to hear your challenges, ideas, concerns as you transition to being a naturalista. Also check out websites like curly nikki to hear more of other women as they journey.

Cheers!

Neema