Loosing Friends

“The saddest part of growing old is losing your friends.’

Over the last couple of years, I have learned that no matter how much I want things to be the way they are, life is all about change. And it changes either for the better or for the worse. And losing friends is one of them.

You see, the thing I have learned is that no matter how things change and how fast they move, we need to be able to let go and move on. I learned this the hard way. I learned this through family and friends who were never their for me, relationship breakups, friends leaving and moving on, jobs changing and people betraying me and through all, holding on to pain and resentment towards everything not only held me back but also put in a bad place.

Someone once said, "As we grow up we don't lose friends. We just learn who our real ones are."

So why is it that as we grow into our 30s we loose so many friends? Well, people change and when we change, we start to move towards people who have our similar beliefs and we start cutting friends that don’t work.  In this case, no one is to blame, just two different people growing apart. 

Over the last couple of years, I have moved 4 or 5 times and each time, I left my friends behind. It is sad but sometimes we have to embrace new opportunities, which means lost friendships.

One of the saddest reasons, is loosing friends as a result of unforgiveness. This is mostly when you have fights with friends and you let time pass without asking for forgiveness which causes friendship to deteriorate.

Over the last 5-7 years, I have lost friends that I was so close to that I could not imagine not having them in my life.  And when the friendship bonds started falling apart, I always thought I was the problem then I realized, maybe it’s not me. Our friendships have evolved and I started learning to be okay with us and the distance. Granted, I always tried to reach out but now, I don’t really try anymore especially after reaching out on 3 or more occasions with no response. I have learned to move on and be okay with the changes and loosing friends.

This thinking has helped me so much and has put me on a path that not only has it given me an opportunity to open doors for new friends but to also be okay with the changes in my life. So remember, as you grow older, always re-evaluate your friendships and ask yourself these questions: Are the friends you have helping you be your best you? Are they adding joy, support and love to your life? If not, then its time to make a couple of changes.

When you feel like you are loosing close friends, remember you are not alone. Be encouraged by the words of my friend Steve Maraboli, 

- “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

Be Blessed!
Neema